Guerdon
Sometime in 2017 or 2018, I began an online running list of notes/journal where I kept track for quite a while of ideas or creative thoughts that surfaced. That “journal” has a feature where it essentially sends me an email occasionally to remind me what I wrote on that day however many years ago.
On May 18, 2026, I received one of these reminders about a note I entered entitled “Walmart, Apple, and the Invocation of the Collective Phantom.” That 2018 note reads as follows:
“To think of the artist as a gravitational well of her own self is perhaps shortsited. Rather, it seems that she puts on a cloak or robe, or, even closer, she calls down the spirit of some entity thrown off by collective consciousness. She allows this entity to take possession of her for the duration, and she cooperates, making use of her own gravitational field, placing it at the service of the spirit. The names of such spirits may vary: History, Art, the Subversive, Feminism, Capitalism, Activism, Creativity, Spirituality, etc. Whether or not she chooses a spirit, or she is chosen by predisposition, I cannot say just yet. Most importantly, it should be recognized now that, in this way, art requires the alchemical practice of invocation (and projection). Then like a statue, the artist/alchemist becomes animated and full of the life of this spirit. The spirit may then set to work delivering its message through the artistic process, making use of the subject, of time and space, and the dialogue between humanity and itself.
Seen this way, Guerdon was produced by invocation of the negredo phase that I was experiencing. The message was very clear and my mission—so to speak—was to create the environment, provide the tools, perform the ritual, and then step into the possession and capture the image. That is precisely how the process played out. With ease and precision."
I reviewed that note and considered how my experiences since its writing have informed the ideas I was pondering on. That revisiting lead me to contemplate what it means to act (or attempt to act) on one’s own will. It brought to mind (perhaps because of its particular treatment of will and relationship) the mirror-like friendship in The Neverending Story (Ende) between Bastian—whose every soul level wish causes him to lose a small piece of himself—and his counterpart, Atreyu. What left me pondering was the necessity of Bastian’s descent, the equal necessity of his relationship with Atreyu (who was also his mirror-self), and the fact that the salvation of Fantastica was only accomplished by the unfolding of their story.
That led me to reflecting on how often this arrangement is really part of the hero's tale. The hero so often goes on a kind of fruitless quest, must fail, must be corrupted, and redeemed by his mirror self, in order to renew the kingdom. What strikes me now is that the path of pure will (full speed, ego as divine) is perhaps not wrong so much as it is incomplete. Bastian had to make his wishes and ultimately lose himself, but the task was accomplished (and he was able to find himself again) in the mirroring witness of Atreyu.
